A Sudden Inspiration: Dream Journal

For a long time now I haven’t written, and even as I write now I begin to lose the words that had inspired me to write this evening. I reflected upon a idea book, rather a “dream journal” I had put so much work into years before. It was a artists way of self expression when no words could describe those feelings like magazine clippings could. Colour, composition, and form speak well to my senses and bring memories rushing back through me. Goals I had set, places I wanted to go, and people I wanted to be like. Until tonight I had never understood the value of keeping a journal and even of taking hundreds of photographs no matter how annoying and invasive in the moment. It is not for the sake of your future family, or your (potential) children, I have come to believe there is no great satisfaction than self satisfaction.

Every page and every clipping have a story that sparks a memory and for a moment it made me smile but then that moment turned bitter sweet. It was interesting to see how much I had changed and how differently my life had gone since I worked on the journal. However, I was a little disappointed in fact that I had sold myself so short, that I had at one point or another, I suppose like most little girls, wanted to be like someone else. Still nowadays we look at these perfect models in the pages of magazines and these perfect families on television and in films that brainwash us into thinking we as women and as mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles have many more flaws than any other human being on the planet. To me it is a shame that we can be defined by the few symmetric and proportionate people, the perfect citizens shall we say.

I dare not sound like a cliché promoting individuality and embracing our differences, because I’m sure that the world would in fact be a perfect peaceful place if we could all just get along and love one another, but lets get realistic. I found that its very hard for other people to love and care about you, approach you, learn from you and about you, befriend you and accompany you if you, yourself, are not able to understand who you are, what you like and dislike, and where your dreams take you to. After all your thoughts and opinions and the way you view the world are what make you interesting.

Coming back to the Dream Journal, I reminded myself that I love the process of growing and learning more about who I’ve become, because I believe that it’s more about the journey than the destination or even the current location. I believe that those who struggle to find the words to express how the feel about themselves, those who want to document a list of dreams and ambitions, whether its travel or redecorating, perhaps even a fantasy lifestyle, should keep a scrapbook-like journal. Write, draw, cut and paste, its up to you, but its always nice to remind yourself and/or like I have just done earlier this evening reflect on the goals and dreams I once had only to learn something new about myself.

boDash

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~ by bodash on June 29, 2010.